Including Your Future Mother in Law in the Planning Process
How sweet is it to have new family? One of the things I think that is so beautiful in marriage is the coming together of two families. There is so much excitement around the wedding and I know it can feel exhausting trying to include everyone and make everyone feel important, while also staying true to you and what you want. Have you heard the phrase that weddings are for other people? I think there is a fine line and a lot of truth around that. Let’s focus in on the bride/mother in law relationship today though.
So, focusing in on some of the wedding process, here’s what I have seen go really well. As I’ve mentioned before, it is best to go shopping with less people. Now that coronavirus is a thing, a lot of stores only allow you to bring 1 or 2 guests anyway. So naturally that is either mom, sister, grandma, or MOH. So right now, you don’t have to worry about having that conversation of who’s going and who’s not because the stores and the pandemic have that covered for you.
What can be done and what I always love to suggest is allowing the future mother in law to come to the first fitting or an accessories appointment. That way your decision is already set in stone on your dress and then there is no room for influence. We don’t **not** want future mother in laws involved in the process, but as a former consultant I can honestly say I’ve had my fair share of heart to hearts with brides in fitting rooms and they are just trying to people please and it typically leads to stress and not having fun. We want mother in laws there, but dress shopping already is mentally and emotionally draining, the more people in the equation enhance that. Ask former brides, they’ll tell you they were worried about making everyone go to one more store or felt pressure to find it faster because more people took time to be there. That is not what it is about. That’s why shopping with less people is best and then involving everyone else in the details!
Another sweet way you include your future mother in law in the planning is a fun shopping day with her! Help her find her dress she will wear to the wedding and get some fun bonding time in. Make a day of it- lunch, or mani-pedi’s. This will be something each of you remember forever while checking a box on the important wedding planning list.
Next, allow the future mother in law and father in law to throw a shower if they ask! There are so many showers and parties, and this allows them the opportunity to help! Which is ultimately what most in-laws want. WIth them throwing a party it allows you to focus in on the big decisions.
Next, you can always text or call asking for her opinion. This will help her opinion feel valued and like you are letting her in to the wedding planning process. You could ask what she thinks of some floral arrangements, a color palette, invitations, or something that might interest her.
All in all, there are so many different ways to do this, the best is probably through words of affirmation and sharing about your mutual love of your fiancé. The goal is to not feel like you have to people please but find easy ways to make everyone you love happy along the way-while keeping you happy!